come up for air

mtshasta

Step 1. Upload pictures from camera to computer. Wait, where is the camera? I can’t remember the last time I took a dslr photo. Battery is dead, of course it is. Charge battery. Step 2. Scroll through several months of pictures, since last upload, since last blog entry, and wonder ‘is there anything here I can write about?’ Step 3. Not really. Pull a random picture and write anyway.

There is this thing that happens in early Spring in the Pacific Northwest: you start seeing people again. We live on a street that gets plenty of foot traffic in decent weather; we’re a few blocks from our town’s “main street”. The walkability, the proximity to lots of useful stuff, was the number 1 reason we bought this house almost seven years ago. And while some people are walking for efficient transportation all year round, the frequency of passers-by increases so much once we start having warmer, drier days. Uly likes to stand on his little stool at our front window and announce, “man!” or “lady!” when he spots a pedestrian.

The last two Springs were rough. Two years ago, Ulysses was tiny and we were on the heels of his first open heart surgery and I was busy growing thicker skin. Last year, we were dreading another heart surgery and then dealing with a complicated aftermath. This year, I’m just busy. My skin is plenty thick now. I still notice dumb stuff people do and say, but anticipating that dumb stuff doesn’t consume me anymore. This year, I’m back to being annoyed by crabby Gladys Kravitz next door. This year, I am planning a garden again. This year, I have a two year old who cannot yet walk independently but wants to be as active outdoors as any two year old. This year, I feel a great disconnect between what I want to be doing and what I am able to manage.

If I have passed an acceptable age of being ridiculously moved by music, nobody told me and I don’t care. It was fun to see such positive feedback on my winter playlist I shared in January. I had started working on a Spring mix, but I got waylaid by one perfect song. I want a list of this one song ten times in a row. I want to sing it to everyone who walks by my house. I want to sing it to myself, “Get outside, get all over the world You learn to love what you get in return It may be a problem and it may be peace of mind Put your head down down and breathe one breath at a time.”

(are you like me? do you like to read the lyrics of songs like you’re sixteen again and cracking open the liner notes in a new cd for the first time? I wouldn’t want to be sixteen again for anything, and my own teenaged daughter does not experience music in the same intense way I did, but I do still like to read through the words of a good song.)

“Miracle Mile”

I was supposed to do great things
I know the road was long
But I wasn’t raised to shoot for fame
I had the safety on

I cut my ties, I sold my rings
I wanted none of this
If you start from scratch you have to sing
Just for the fun of it

I’d be alright, if I could just see you
Come up for air, come up for air
A miracle mile, where does it lead to
Come up for air, come up for air

I feel the air upon my face
Forget the mess I’m in
Hold me again, don’t count mistakes
I lost track of them

I’d be alright, if I could just see you
Come up for air, come up for air
A miracle mile, where does it lead to
Come up for air, come up for air

I was in the mud, I was in the dirt
Went underground and I found what I was worth
All alone and I know I cant stay
But we’re walking up and down the streets to stay awake

Come up for air, come up for air, come up
Come up for air, come up for air, come up
Come up for air, come up for air, come up
Come up for air, come up for air, come up

Get outside, get all over the world
You learn to love what you get in return
It may be a problem and it may be peace of mind
Put your head down down and breathe one breath at a time

Come up for air, come up for air, come up
Come up for air, come up for air, come up
Come up for air, come up for air, come up
Come up for air, come up for air, come up

I’d be alright, if I could just see you
Come up for air, come up for air
A miracle mile, where does it lead to
Come up for air, come up for air

I’d be alright, if I could just see you
A miracle mile, where does it lead to

(photo is a roadside capture of mount shasta from our road trip to southern california last fall. last fall! i have taken almost zero good pictures in months. check my instagram for more current phone snapshots.)

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