please and thank you

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When we finished up with all the pre-surgical tasks (ekg, chest x-ray, blood draws) and concluded our tour of the pediatric intensive care, she asked if we had any questions. I shook my head No. I am pretty sure this woman, the cardiac care liaison, meant questions about the procedure or related logistics. I’m clear on all of that. I wish I could have said Yes! Tell me how it is that I’m standing here now. Tell me how to breathe tomorrow. Please tell me that when he’s grown he will look back on his babyhood with vague memories of goodness and security and love, not fear and pain. Will he grow up? Will he be ok?

Please know that I’m expecting a great lifting surge of kind thoughts and intentions from you (whoever you are) tomorrow.

My tiny boy, just barely three months old, is having his chest cut open and his broken heart repaired tomorrow. My baby is going to have his heart stitched up on Valentine’s Day and nothing else matters. If you know my boy or know his story, I have to believe you will be thinking of him. How could you not? Every heart shape you see will be etched with his name. Ulysses is loved.

I have been so caught-up in the newness of everything, so focused on learning about my son’s issues, that these past three months have happened in a snap. This is my honest excuse for having such a backlog of thank you notes and letters. So much kindness has come into our home, through the mail and from in-person friends alike and I am so appreciative. Consider this a placeholder of a proper thank you, a sincere acknowledgment until the worries fade some and I can send an actual written response.

Please think of us tomorrow, with all of your love and hearts and sweets. It’s going to be a very hard day.

Thank you.

(if this first post from my phone is successful, i might be able to blog during the coming week at the hospital)

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Categories: Uncategorized | 25 Comments

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25 thoughts on “please and thank you

  1. ameyknits

    April – you will all be in my thoughts all day tomorrow, wrapped in warm love from Phoenix.

  2. since you shared his surgery would be on valentines days, that is exactly all i have thought of at every turn with valentine day’s approach and marketing. today you have all been heavily on my heart and mind. i was thinking of tomorrow and the anticipation, not thinking of all the preparations held in today. you are love. Ulysses is loved.

  3. Susannah Seefeldt

    I will be thinking of you Ulysses and family. My good thoughts and lOve will be there with you. Xoxo

  4. Julie Anita

    A message from me & the girls ❤

  5. I have been thinking of you all so much today and how you are preparing for such a momentous day tomorrow, if there can really be any type of preparation for that. I will be thinking and praying for all of you tomorrow. Ulysses *IS* loved and I can’t help but think that he will remember that when he is older.

  6. Sue Berger

    I will be holding Ulysses close to my own heart tomorrow. And in the days to come. Much love!

  7. Omy

    So much love in all our hearts for you and Uly and your family tonight, April. I will be thinking of you frequently throughout the day and the next several days as he and you recover from the surgery together.

  8. Erika Kahler

    Heard about your sweet boy from Rachel O’Connor. My prayers are with you!

  9. sharon

    Thinking of you and your little man and will continue to do so allll day tomorrow. A friend’s baby had open heart surgery when she was just 4 days old. Now she is a thriving (typical) teen (age 13)! Stay strong mom and then let it all out.

    In our thoughts…

    All the best,
    Sharon & Blake

  10. Jorgi

    Since I am six hours ahead of you there is a head start on the positive thoughts and love coming your way. Xoxoxoxo

  11. Pam

    sending prayers and a quick recovery, and most of all the strength to the parents to get through this, and trust, all will be well. God watch over this little one tomorrow.

  12. Amelia

    Light and love to you all.

  13. Dawn

    Best wishes to your son and your whole family! My son is 26 months old and has had 2 open heart surgeries. You are at the most difficult time of this. It seems impossible, but it does get easier. My heart goes out to you mama. Hugs and love, prayers and blessings to you.

  14. carlos

    if both my girls survived with a paltry 20% chance of survival, your little man can make it.

    also, make sure you hold this over him when he refuses to clean up his room.

    best, best, best wishes.

  15. Sarah Bradley

    I woke up with Uly on my mind and will hold him there until this is over. So much love for you and your sweet family.

  16. So much love n prayers coming your way today…. (((Hugs)))

  17. Nothing but love and power coming from us April, Brian, Freya, Gillis and Ulysses. Every heart we see will be that of your little champion.

    Know ALL of our power is being sent out to Ulysses today.

    Jana, Lewis, Bennett and Duncan

  18. Deb

    I love you so much, sending all the light, love, and good thoughts I possible can.

  19. mamahandle

    our hearts to yours.

  20. Lifting your precious son up in prayer, and wrapping your entire family in good thoughts and love from Colorado. Today is Ulysses’ heart day.

  21. Been thinking about you, Ulysses and the family all day.
    Hugs.

  22. Petra

    I’m so happy to hear that Mr. Ulysses is doing so well. I didn’t expect anything less from such an incredible boy that has been so strong all along – from the moment of conception, really! Still, it is a big relief to hear how well he is doing. Keep it up little fighter. We’re all rooting for you!

    Love to you and your beautiful family April! We’re thinking about you all. xoxo

    Petra, Chris and the girls!

  23. “Hey, thanks for the blog article.Really thanks! Will continue reading…”

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