How to feel old:
Have a conversation with your almost-thirteen year old daughter about phone etiquette (in sort of an anthropological context), discuss the etymology of Hello. Daughter decides she will stop using a simple Hello. Will instead answer phones with “Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.” Tell your daughter that it’s a good thing she only answers calls when she knows they are for her. Mention that you wouldn’t have had the same experience when you were young. Daughter is confused, “what do you mean?”. Tell her when you were her age, there was no Caller ID. Daughter is still confused, “but you could just remember whose number was whose, if it didn’t tell you the name.” No, daughter, you explain. There was no number. The phone rang. The phone was answered. You would say Hello. You never knew who it was going to be. Daughter laughs, deeply. Come on, mom, are you serious? Serious. But wait, you tell her. You tell her how exciting it was when you were a teenager, you had to have been sixteen maybe, and this new service became available. You could simply press *69 and -just like that!- your phone would magically call back whoever last called you. Putting a regretful, but probably necessary, end to the era of prank calls and other telephone hijinks. Daughter thinks you are making this up. “But you still wouldn’t know who it was!” she insists, still confused. Yes, but they would answer! And then you would know from their voice! Daughter laughs and laughs and laughs. “I can’t believe how weird everything was back then,” she says.